I took my middle schooler to Rod Wave's Concert

Back in August, I went to Beyonce’s concert with my little sisters.

The experience was so fun but more than anything it was so inspirational.

I’m always thinking deeper into things and while I was there I felt such a rush of fresh thoughts that I later shared my perspective about it on my Instagram.

Here is a link to that post if you’re interested: Click here

Fast forward to three days ago….I took my middle school daughter to Rod Wave’s Nostalgia Tour.

The experiences were night and day.

Beyonce’s music on her tour was upbeat, positive, and lighthearted. The concert was an entire production, which I later learned took 4 years for her to bring together. In that stadium, you felt nothing but intentionality, love, and good vibes.

I didn’t take my daughter to that concert but I wished I had. However, I later took her to watch the Beyonce movie, which was basically the concert all over again with some added behind-the-scenes. She really enjoyed it.

Rod Wave’s music on the other hand is more serious. In his music, he’s very vulnerable about his mental struggles and he does it on a catchy beat, with such a mellow vibe; the people love it. The concert felt like a story, each song giving you a journey into his struggles as well as his successes. In that arena it felt like a party at a club; just with great lighting and visuals.

These two artists are not comparable. I’m only just comparing the experiences I recently had because I wanted to reflect on them.

My daughter asked me so many times to go to this Rod Wave concert. She wouldn’t leave me alone about it.

I kept telling her no because I didn’t feel at her age she needed to go to this concert.

Simply because I just feel at 12 you should be listening to something more innocent and playful.

I’m usually a hard ‘no’ about things I don't feel are good for my kids but after a few talks with my daughter about it and being nudged by my sister to join her because she wanted to take my niece as well…

I went out on a whim and decided I’d go experience it with her.

She had a ball.

She was on Cloud 9! She went from smiling to dancing to screaming! She didn’t miss a word. She rapped/sang her little heart out. She kept whispering little things to me during the concert, overall just thankful to be there.

I enjoyed being there with her. I was also there with my sisters and my nieces. It was a girl's night out. It was fun! It was priceless.

But I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t experiencing and processing at the same time. I had so many thoughts while I was there.

I’m going to share the main ones:

(These are not in order of importance, I’m just writing as it comes to mind)

I enjoy entering my daughter's world occasionally, even attending concerts for artists I wouldn't typically choose.

To be honest, I like some of Rod Wave’s music but if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have paid to go to his concert. I did it solely for her and that night I was a part of her little world. I enjoyed watching her express herself. From the way she styled her hair, to how she prepped to get ready while blasting his album. To seeing her light up telling her friends all about it both before and after. I think sometimes it’s important we give our kids space to fully express and even take an interest in it. It gives you a different level of access and insight.

People shouldn't fear emotions; vulnerability connects us.

So many people said to me they didn’t want to take their child to the concert because they didn't want their child listening to that depressing music. I get that and respect that. To be fair, I even thought like that slightly. But what I saw with my own two eyes was a stadium packed to full capacity with people relating to that quote-on-quote depressing music. This confirms to me that people are dealing with a lot and vulnerability is winning. If you listen to Rod Wave’s music he speaks on how he had nobody to talk to, so he put it in his songs and it has helped people all over the world. I honestly think he was smart to do that. It is probably what saved him. I say all the time that if more people had space to be vulnerable the world would be a better place. Instead, we want people to pretend to be strong so we’re not uncomfortable.

Sharing struggles doesn't equate to sadness; it fosters connection and growth.

At Rod Wave’s concert, he told mini stories between each song. I don’t remember everything he said but two things he said stood out to me the most:

“When I wrote this song I was in a very dark place at the time. I had to shake myself out of how I was feeling. I learned a valuable lesson and that is that you can’t try to go around your feelings, you have to go through them.”

&

“People think I’m pushing suicide. I’m not pushing suicide. I’m just speaking about what I been through. If my music ain’t for you, it ain’t for you. I struggled a lot with my thoughts but I’m here now and I want to show people if you think positive thoughts you can turn your life around. Life can be so lit!”

I turned to my daughter when he said that one and was like “You heard that?”

She was like “Yep! You see Mommy, he be saying a lot of positive stuff too!”

I was like “I see! I like that!”

Whether we like to admit it or not, there is a war going on in everybody's minds. Some people's mind wars are just small little catfights. For some people, the mind wars feel like full armies battling with missiles.

People are struggling and maybe they receive the connection and messaging they need this way versus the upbeat “Because I’m Happy” Pharrell-type songs because it meets them where they are.

Finding your way to mental peace is a lifelong process and it looks different to everybody.

All that matters is that people have space to express, reflect, and grow through things.

& I also have to add, that maybe sometimes people do want to feel sad for a little. That’s okay too.

Sadness is a human emotion. I’ve always hated the no-emotions culture. I think that’s more harmful than anything.

I’m sure most of us have had a ‘sad music’ playlist ready for when we were in a sad mood just so we could feel seen in our feelings in those moments……singing louddd too!

I know when I was younger I had a good ol’ in my feeling/heartbreak playlist that I played every time my boyfriend pissed me off.

Sometimes you need to blow off some steam or sometimes you need to hear your emotions validated. That’s a good release to me… as long as you know it is just a moment and you equip your mind enough to push through those moments.

& As you grow you will undeniably push through them faster.

Parenting requires balance; discernment is key.

My daughter is by no means sad. She’s such a playful, expressive kid, we talk for hours on end about everything under the sun.

I asked her what was her favorite Rod Wave song and she picked the song ‘Crazy’.

“What works for you may not work for me. I dropped everything and went and chased my dreams. They thought I was craaaazyy!”

Which is one of the songs I like best on his album too minus a few toxic references. She wasn’t necessarily connected to the saddest parts of his songs, she connected with the positive messages in the midst of it. & That’s the thing…being judgmental puts your mind in a small box. A box where there’s no room for connection or an understanding of individual preferences. There are always so many factors to consider.

Don’t get wrong…

There was definitely questionable things about the concert. His lineup before the concert didn’t align with his music. I also would be lying if I said that I didn’t side-eye some things said in a few songs. I am by no means advocating for letting our kids run wild with the things they take an interest in. We have to have discernment and know when to be like “Um hell no” to this.

But I think my husband and I do a good job with balancing that.

The reality is when they are at school or around their peers it’s the Wild Wild West. They hear and know about everything by this age. It’s frightening as a mom but it’s reality.

I remember my parents telling me to cover my eyes when people kissed in movies we watched but little did they know I was already talking about kissing and eventually doing more than kissing.

I get covering your eyes out of respect but I think it would’ve been more beneficial to use these things as windows to talk. Maybe I would’ve taken more things into consideration had I had some solid convos that weren’t only based in fear but based on experiences and wisdom.

Sometimes you have to trust your parenting.

I talk to my daughter so much! I share as much as I feel compelled to!

& This concert made me have some more conversations.

I think it’s always important to not miss the opportunities to connect and talk but also being open for random moments of light-hearted fun.

& Boy did we had fun! 😊💖

daleymommy

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